One personality trait we always find in successful and socially popular people is self-confidence. In fact, in a majority of different professions, it is the key quality without which success often remains a distant dream.
These super confident people aren’t born with this quality. But over time they develop it, by knowingly or unknowingly doing smaller things that help them improve self-confidence.
As they become more confident, they are able to undertake greater challenges and overcome bigger obstacles, which earlier might have intimidated them.
Resolving to improve self-confidence is like entering an upward spiral. As you move ahead in this journey, it keeps getting easier to go up, than to tumble downwards.
Self-confidence also develops by setting goals and achieving them. Each achievement will propel you to the next level of confidence.
Gradually, you will have a greater belief in your own self and your abilities. This will give you the courage to take hard decisions and stand by them even against criticism and challenges.
You will also be less prone to anxiety and soon you will not care so much about what other people think. A confident person will do what is right, and not what others expect him to do.
He is fearless to take risks and is always ready to admit to his mistakes and learn from them. Self-confident people also have this uncanny knack of staying calm in the worst situations.
Let’s learn a bit more about it before I talk about ways to improve self-confidence.
WHAT IS SELF CONFIDENCE?
It is simply the faith you have in your ability to face stressful and challenging situations, particularly those that are unfamiliar and outside your comfort zone. In other words, it is a feeling of trust in one’s judgment, qualities and abilities.
A confident person is usually goal oriented and does not care much about what others think of him. Usually, a confident person will display the following traits:
- A cool, calm and easy posture, even under stress.
- Independent style – ideas, thoughts or actions.
- Display less irritation even under pressure.
- A good listener who is never in a hurry to speak or interrupt.
- Does not look over his shoulder for help every now and then.
- Appreciative of others and liberal with genuine compliments.
- Always well-groomed and well dressed, in other words, comfortable with their clothes and appearance.
It must also be remembered that an exaggerated idea about one’s competence is not self-confidence, but overconfidence. Overconfidence, if not more, is as dangerous as low self-confidence. It will only lead you into making very confident, but incorrect or senseless judgements.
People with low self-confidence usually display inconsistent behaviour. They remain unsure of themselves and lack clarity of purpose in life.
Also, they usually have a tendency to talk fast, have poor listening skills, seek others approval, have an unorganised life style, avoid eye contact and are likely to have unstable and unreliable relationships.
Another distinct sign observed in both over and under confident people is their lack of originality. They will always tend to show off what they are not and often put on a mask in their social circles.
However, the good news is that you can improve self-confidence with concerted efforts.
HOW TO IMPROVE SELF-CONFIDENCE?
Self-confidence is not something one is born with. Our upbringing does play a crucial role in making us feel confident of ourselves and our abilities.
We must remember that it is a skill, and it can be developed by self-training and guidance over a period. However, it is a long-drawn process and there are no quick fixes.
Self-confidence is a quality which is intimately linked with one’s perception of his own skills, intelligence and abilities. This does not always mean that the most intelligent person in the room will also be the most confident.
In fact, from my personal experience, I’ve often seen the more intelligent people usually underestimating their abilities. On the other hand, an ignorant person who lacks knowledge can very easily become overconfident as he might not possess the skills necessary to assess his own performance.
To improve self-confidence, you must be determined and ready to patiently make constant efforts to train yourself.
I will now list 7 ways to improve self-confidence which can also make your personal and professional life more fun and exciting!
1. POSITIVE MINDSET
The foremost requirement is to have a positive mindset. It has been proved through multiple studies that a positive mindset can have numerous physical and mental benefits.
If we look at things with a positive frame of mind, we naturally avoid negativity, worries and stress. Meditation can greatly help in calming your mind and eliminating the negative thoughts.
You must check out: 2 Very Good Reasons to Start Meditating While You’re Young
Our minds have unlimited potential and our mindset is shaped by our past experiences and how we perceive the good and the bad. A positive person will always value positive outcomes, nomatter how small. On the other hand, he tends to analyse, introspect and learn from the negative outcomes instead of losing hope or getting discouraged.
A positive mindset will give you greater confidence, will improve your mood and reduces chances of depression and other stress-related disorders.
2. IMPROVE YOUR KNOWLEDGE AND SKILLS
Knowing more about your profession and other things that you are interested in, naturally makes you more confident.
For example, if you start going to the gym, you may feel a little underconfident about performing certain exercises which may be new to you. You feel this lack of confidence because you probably don’t know how to correctly perform the exercise. You may feel so uncomfortable that you start getting really conscious about other people looking at you.
Now, you go back home, open YouTube and see videos of how to perform that exercise correctly. Practice a few times in front of a mirror. In fact, you go on to read about how that exercise impacts your muscles.
Next day you return to the gym.
Voila! You feel more confident than ever about performing that movement!
The same exercise was making you feel utterly uncomfortable just the previous day. This happened because you are confident about doing it correctly and you also know why are you doing it and how is it benefiting you.
So, if you have more in-depth knowledge of what you do, you will naturally improve self-confidence. It will come from within.
Though, you must also remember that along with external knowledge, you also must know yourself thoroughly. You will overcome a majority of your self-doubts if you know your strengths and weaknesses. Knowing what you’re good at will always boost your confidence.
3. LOVE YOURSELF
One quality which is common among all self-confident people is that they appreciate their self-worth and they love themselves. When you look in the mirror, you must love the person who is looking back at you and have some encouraging talk with him every day.
A lot of times we may not notice but we often indulge in negative self-talk. We often say things like I’m not good at this or I should’ve just given up and never tried. This type of negative self-talk will drain your confidence and subconsciously your mind will register these conceptions you have about yourself.
Consciously notice your thinking pattern when you’re stressed or feeling low. Stop yourself when a negative thought creeps in and replace it with a positive one.
I’m not good at this should become I will become good at this with practice, and I should’ve just given up and never tried should become I know why I failed, I will try harder next time. Such positive self-talk tends to keep your morale high and you will improve self-confidence.
4. BE PROUD OF YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS
You must take pride in whatever you have been able to achieve in your life and never compare yourself with others. Taking inspiration from successful people is okay, but don’t indulge in negative comparison. You are a unique personality and you must endeavor to become the best in your own way.
I earlier mentioned about positive self-talk and loving yourself. While those are necessary to boost your self-esteem, it is also important to be proud of whatever achievements you’ve had in the past, no matter how small they are.
I would also like to emphasize the importance of living in the present. The only things to take from the past into your future, are your achievements, good memories and the lessons learned.
5. SURROUND YOURSELF WITH POSITIVE PEOPLE
There’s no denying the fact that our company plays an important role in forming our behavioral and personality traits. So, it is very important that we surround ourselves with positive friends, co-workers, and mentors.
By hanging out with such people you’ll hear positive stories, positive ideas, and positive perceptions. Negativity can only drain you out, so it is absolutely essential that you squeeze out every little ounce of negativity that you can trace in your life.
Of course, it’s easier said than done. But just try and build relationships with people who are more encouraging and cheerful. That way, you will avoid a lot of negativity and you will find yourself coming out and voicing your opinions and ideas more freely. Thus, boosting your confidence every time you interact with such people.
6. HELP AND MOTIVATE OTHERS
A simple way to change how you feel about yourself is to help others. Even small acts of help such as holding the door for someone behind you can improve your self-esteem.
Helping people out with smaller problems or when they are facing a major crisis will make you value yourself more as you can immediately see the impact you make by helping.
Help can be physical, or it can just be a word of encouragement or advice. The gratification you will feel by doing these things will make you feel good about yourself and improve self-confidence instantly.
7. SET GOALS AND ACHIEVE THEM
Last but not the least, is to have clear goals in life which motivate you. Set goals that will make your life better rather than choose certain goals just to prove a point to someone.
Nothing boosts self-confidence more than completing a task successfully or achieving a goal you had set. When you set goals and achieve them, your faith in your skills and abilities will increase.
Also, clarity of purpose in life boosts your ego and confidence. Fear and anxiety usually stem from a lack of clarity about your situation or future goals.
To begin with, we should set small goals and achieve them. This will gradually improve self-confidence in us, and such small steps in life will prepare us to gallop towards a more exciting future.
Also check out: 5 Things You Need To Transform and Succeed
Thanks a lot for reading!
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Young entrepreneur based in Bangalore.
Loves traveling to new places, trying out new things, a fitness enthusiast, Gunners fan, and a music lover.
Well written….
Thanks Latika 🙂
Thanks for your feedback. Stay tuned, next one coming up soon!